While it takes something like... 4000 hours to become an expert at something.. it takes about 5 to become `basically ok`at it. That is, you`ll go from being a crappy lv 1 to a solid lv 20 after 5 hours. Not strong enough to take on a big bad, but enough that you can murder those thousands of boars wandering around outside your camp easily enough. (WHAT IS UP WITH THOSE BOARS?)
Anyway. This week has been devoted to noodles and dragon beard. Dragon beard is like.. noodles, if they were made out of sugar. Both were prettyyyyy epic failures at the beginning of the week but now.. they're not bad!
Noodles first.
La Mian and I have been battling for a while now. Every 6 months or so I get it into my head that it's a skill I should learn. Then I get irritated and give up and go on to other things. What's La Mian? It's 'hand pulled noodles'. Google it to be impressed by people twirling and pulling dough as if by magic into delicious noodles.
Suffice to say, it would be an excellent party trick if I actually like people. Which I don't. So.. party trick for JUST ME!
The dough is pretty easy to put together. I know cause I've done it like.. 6 times this week.
Anyway. This week has been devoted to noodles and dragon beard. Dragon beard is like.. noodles, if they were made out of sugar. Both were prettyyyyy epic failures at the beginning of the week but now.. they're not bad!
Noodles first.
La Mian and I have been battling for a while now. Every 6 months or so I get it into my head that it's a skill I should learn. Then I get irritated and give up and go on to other things. What's La Mian? It's 'hand pulled noodles'. Google it to be impressed by people twirling and pulling dough as if by magic into delicious noodles.
Suffice to say, it would be an excellent party trick if I actually like people. Which I don't. So.. party trick for JUST ME!
The dough is pretty easy to put together. I know cause I've done it like.. 6 times this week.
It's
156g cake flour
25g all purpose flour
2g salt
1g baking soda
125g warm water
6 grams sesame oil
Now, you may be thinking: what's with the flour blend can't I just use regular flour?
Nope.
The long answer involves science and something something gluten. It's actually pretty interesting to look at how much of a variation there is in 'all purpose' flour across countries. But.. not today. Today just take my advice and get some cake flour.
Sesame oil is neat too, because you may think 'oh, I can just use vegetable oil'. Except you CANNOT. I don't know why, really have no idea if other oils will work, but replacing it with vegetable oil just resulted in a weird dough that didn't stretch. Best results? Sesame oil. Something something magic.
So you mix up all these things, and then knead the shit out of it. Or, as I do, throw it into the breadmaker and let THAT knead it. You need like a solid 30 minutes of kneading. Not even joking. Use your stand mixer, use a bread maker, use small children.. But it 'needs' (haha) a good knead.
AFTER you have kneaded the crap out of it, you have to roll it into a sort of log and then.. pull it into a long snake. You do THIS by shaking it and smacking it against the table. Then you twist the dough clockwise.. pull smack pull.. twist it COUNTERclockwise. Repeat about seventy five million time.
156g cake flour
25g all purpose flour
2g salt
1g baking soda
125g warm water
6 grams sesame oil
Now, you may be thinking: what's with the flour blend can't I just use regular flour?
Nope.
The long answer involves science and something something gluten. It's actually pretty interesting to look at how much of a variation there is in 'all purpose' flour across countries. But.. not today. Today just take my advice and get some cake flour.
Sesame oil is neat too, because you may think 'oh, I can just use vegetable oil'. Except you CANNOT. I don't know why, really have no idea if other oils will work, but replacing it with vegetable oil just resulted in a weird dough that didn't stretch. Best results? Sesame oil. Something something magic.
So you mix up all these things, and then knead the shit out of it. Or, as I do, throw it into the breadmaker and let THAT knead it. You need like a solid 30 minutes of kneading. Not even joking. Use your stand mixer, use a bread maker, use small children.. But it 'needs' (haha) a good knead.
AFTER you have kneaded the crap out of it, you have to roll it into a sort of log and then.. pull it into a long snake. You do THIS by shaking it and smacking it against the table. Then you twist the dough clockwise.. pull smack pull.. twist it COUNTERclockwise. Repeat about seventy five million time.
Or, 'about half an episode of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries'. EXCELLENT SHOW. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
Twist pull twist pull... google this. You have to just keep doing it until the dough will turn sort of silky. It'll start to feel different, and when you pull out the dough you'll be getting less and less resistance. The trick I've found is that this stage should be very sticky. NO ADDED FLOUR! If you leave the dough on the counter, it should become glued to it and irritating to pick up again. If anything, you want to keep the dough moist and sometimes add flour.
Keeping the dough warm helps too. So if you have moist warm hands? IDEAL! Unlike me. I swear to you, my hands are like Elsa from Frozen. I can't hold it back anymore.
THEN comes the noodle pulling. Watching masters do this on youtube will make you feel very inadequate, but.. do it anyway. I have found that doing this part on the damn table where gravity can't get me is much easier. You don't LOOK as cool.. But that will come. There's a sort of magic in pulling the dough evenly so that you get noodles that are the same width. I don't know yet how to work that magic.
Basically you pull the dough and then roll it in flour (so it doesn't stick! MAGIC!) and then form a figure 8 and then pull that out and repeat repeat repeat until you have noodles! The experts do this in the air super quick because gravity is a butt. I do this on a table because I am not a master. Yet.
Twist pull twist pull... google this. You have to just keep doing it until the dough will turn sort of silky. It'll start to feel different, and when you pull out the dough you'll be getting less and less resistance. The trick I've found is that this stage should be very sticky. NO ADDED FLOUR! If you leave the dough on the counter, it should become glued to it and irritating to pick up again. If anything, you want to keep the dough moist and sometimes add flour.
Keeping the dough warm helps too. So if you have moist warm hands? IDEAL! Unlike me. I swear to you, my hands are like Elsa from Frozen. I can't hold it back anymore.
THEN comes the noodle pulling. Watching masters do this on youtube will make you feel very inadequate, but.. do it anyway. I have found that doing this part on the damn table where gravity can't get me is much easier. You don't LOOK as cool.. But that will come. There's a sort of magic in pulling the dough evenly so that you get noodles that are the same width. I don't know yet how to work that magic.
Basically you pull the dough and then roll it in flour (so it doesn't stick! MAGIC!) and then form a figure 8 and then pull that out and repeat repeat repeat until you have noodles! The experts do this in the air super quick because gravity is a butt. I do this on a table because I am not a master. Yet.
THEN YOU EAT THE NOODLES!
Well no. You need to cook them in a pot of boiling water and have a broth or something ready.
THEN YOU EAT THEM!
Skill building! It's a thing. And once you get the hang of it? Totally worth it. (Those first five hours you will loathe it and not see the point. But.. something something 'The Dip')
Well no. You need to cook them in a pot of boiling water and have a broth or something ready.
THEN YOU EAT THEM!
Skill building! It's a thing. And once you get the hang of it? Totally worth it. (Those first five hours you will loathe it and not see the point. But.. something something 'The Dip')