BON JOUR
I know I had promised you something about dragon breath but really it never turned out quite the way I wanted it to. The dryness in the air might have prevented it, or it's entirely possible that my scale needs a new battery. But it's one of those weird flat round ones that looks like a nickel and.. I just don't have the energy to go find one.
Plus I live in a weird small town. Where do you even find a battery like that? Walmart? Cause that's the best we've got. Or the source. I suppose the actual answer is 'the internet' but I'd still have to reach the $25 minimum on amazon and.. ugh. So much effort. Screw it.
Speaking of the woes of living in this weird small town...
I've been here now for about six months. All in all, it's pretty great! Very pretty, we're down the street from a farmer's market.. I feel instantly fashionable if I wear so much as lipgloss because it's a very low effort place... and I have the internet. Who needs people when you have the internet, right?
And for the most part, this was totally true. I could still go into the city to see friends, and my internet pals are always around. And honestly I don't really like people anyway so it doesn't matter.
You know what did it? The MEET THE QUEENS episode of Rupauls Drag Race that just came out, where we got to meet the new contestants for the show premiering on March 7th. (Are we cheering Bob the drag queen? YES WE ARE. Have already followed on instagram cause I love you Bob. I am rooting for you with all of my cold dead heart)
I ADORE Rupauls Drag Race. It gives me life. And you know what? I am pretty sure that in this town of 40,000 people that I”m the only person whose watching it. That is depressing as hell. The boyfriend is pretty great about most things but he cannot fathom my deep and all encompassing love for this show.
I don't even know how to find out if that's true. There's no PFLAG here, it shut down. Craigslist? Kijiji? Long shots at best, since my town doesn't even get it's own section. We have a newspaper in town with an online classified section but the venn diagram of people who watch Rupaul and people who read 'the independent freedom newspaper' or whatever the hell it's called is basically two circles on opposite sides of the page. Possibly not even on the same page at all.
Anyway. It's a grim fact. I might get a RUPAULS DRAG RACE sticker, maybe a picture of Latrice being all 'gets those nuts away from my face' and stick it on my laptop and then just hang out in the library HOPING against hope that somebody else will be like HEEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!.
Seems unlikely. Make a poster? Glob. What even.
ANYWHO. On to more interesting things...
I know I had promised you something about dragon breath but really it never turned out quite the way I wanted it to. The dryness in the air might have prevented it, or it's entirely possible that my scale needs a new battery. But it's one of those weird flat round ones that looks like a nickel and.. I just don't have the energy to go find one.
Plus I live in a weird small town. Where do you even find a battery like that? Walmart? Cause that's the best we've got. Or the source. I suppose the actual answer is 'the internet' but I'd still have to reach the $25 minimum on amazon and.. ugh. So much effort. Screw it.
Speaking of the woes of living in this weird small town...
I've been here now for about six months. All in all, it's pretty great! Very pretty, we're down the street from a farmer's market.. I feel instantly fashionable if I wear so much as lipgloss because it's a very low effort place... and I have the internet. Who needs people when you have the internet, right?
And for the most part, this was totally true. I could still go into the city to see friends, and my internet pals are always around. And honestly I don't really like people anyway so it doesn't matter.
You know what did it? The MEET THE QUEENS episode of Rupauls Drag Race that just came out, where we got to meet the new contestants for the show premiering on March 7th. (Are we cheering Bob the drag queen? YES WE ARE. Have already followed on instagram cause I love you Bob. I am rooting for you with all of my cold dead heart)
I ADORE Rupauls Drag Race. It gives me life. And you know what? I am pretty sure that in this town of 40,000 people that I”m the only person whose watching it. That is depressing as hell. The boyfriend is pretty great about most things but he cannot fathom my deep and all encompassing love for this show.
I don't even know how to find out if that's true. There's no PFLAG here, it shut down. Craigslist? Kijiji? Long shots at best, since my town doesn't even get it's own section. We have a newspaper in town with an online classified section but the venn diagram of people who watch Rupaul and people who read 'the independent freedom newspaper' or whatever the hell it's called is basically two circles on opposite sides of the page. Possibly not even on the same page at all.
Anyway. It's a grim fact. I might get a RUPAULS DRAG RACE sticker, maybe a picture of Latrice being all 'gets those nuts away from my face' and stick it on my laptop and then just hang out in the library HOPING against hope that somebody else will be like HEEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!.
Seems unlikely. Make a poster? Glob. What even.
ANYWHO. On to more interesting things...
I made a dress!
Yes it's a terrible photo. I am home alone with nobody but a rabbit and a selfie stick to take photos and the selfie stick needed to be charged. ITS FINE.
Basically, I was watching 'crazy ex girlfriend' and thinking 'I really like that blue dress' in the opening sequence. This led to weird moments of pausing the show and then leaning in real close to see if there were any darts or pleats or anything.
The construction seemed simple enough, it looks a lot like the Colette Moneta dress, though with a puffed sleeve. I ended up going with some leftover 2 way stretch leopard print fabric I had, so.. opted NOT to include a puffed sleeve.
Patterns! I could have pulled out a pattern but was basically too lazy so I just grabbed a similar dress from my closet and stared at it until the pattern pieces made sense.
The only weird bit is the facing in the front, necessary for that neat sort of bustline without any stitches on it. One day I'll figure out how to get that WITHOUT a damn facing though, as I really hate the damn things.
Anywho. Your front and back pieces are going to look the same, except the front will have a lower neckline. In this instance, I cut it to look like the one from Crazy Ex Girlfriend, a sort of sweetheart neck. Cut on the fold! Always the fold.
The facings are just the neck part of the piece that's covering your boobs. VOILA.
Sleeves always look the same. It's better to cut them on the fold so they're even. Also, I'm lazy.
To understand the shape of a sleeve, use any shirt you own and lay it out flat. Then just.. trace the seam. You see? Cut that on the fold and VOILA. SLEEVE INSERT!
You just have to remember it has a weird curve shape to it.
The skirt is easy. You COULD go for more volume with a six paneled number but... We're working with fabric ends here. No time for that. You want the waist to be the same size as the waist of your top pieces but otherwise just diagonally cut down in a sort of skirt shape. ON THE FOLD!
Construction is a breeze. Attach your facings (right side together) and iron that so it lies properly. Fuss with it for like twenty minutes.
Then attach your front piece to your back piece at the shoulders. Attach your sleeves (starting from the middle which will connect to the seam of your shoulders) to the top. Now attach your skirt at the waist to the waist of the top pieces.
Then, starting at the end of your sleeve, stitch up the sleeve around the armpit and all the way down to the bottom of the dress. Repeat on the other side.
You can hem it, if you want. If it's jersey it's not going to fray.. I did a simple hem on the arms and the hem cause I felt like being fancy.
AND BOOM. YOU HAVE A DRESS
Now go sweep the floor you monster look at the mess you made.
Here are some terrible diagrams so you can VISUALIZE cause I'm sure my instructions made zero sense!